Only Way

I desperately want to touch that fire again

It enticed me, yet it scared me at the same time

I do not want to get burned again.

I remembered I had died

multiple times trying to play

with that fire that had mesmerized me

Until I had to run away from it

I learned that it would have burned me

much deeper this time around

and would get caught  in this 

vicious cycle of going back and forth

just trying to reach for it and touch it again

But, I wanted it so badly..

I dreamt of it even if I was succumbing 

to the pain it would cost me

and yet, I needed to save myself first

Maybe someday 

I would learn when I see

these scars that it had created

all over my mind, body and soul

that it would remind me how painful it was

and how deeply it hurts that I almost

got burned to the ground..losing myself in the process.