Grief way

 How do you process grief? I should be asking this in my Quora..

Everytime I see a man in bed in a hospital robe, it always (never fails) to remind me of my Dongie. All thru our marriage , he was sick and I had to take him in countless surgeries , doctor appointments.etc etc

But despite it all..he tried to survive. 

I do not think he intend to die when he did. We always believe he would survive and live longer. It was al a shock to us...and me being delayed reaction.. I am still deciphering everything. I thought coming to France would ease my pain. 

We were not inlove , but we've become closer thru the years. He was my bestest friend and confidante. Gave me confidence, my number one fan. I wish he's still here so I could share with him how it is here in Paris.

I do like it here, but I realized that..we do have more freedom and opportunities there. My dream of travelling got shattered. It's about this and that ..cannot divulge it here.

Yesterday as I killed time in Paris, bec ate josie's friends are still in the room. I tried to take in everything. I felt like I was in a dream, sitting here on a bench near the Eiffel Tower. I also felt like I was in Park Ave in  NY. which is strange..lol

I was told time and again, do not complain..at least you're in Paris..lol

anyway, I was contemplating yesterday..

So this is how it is to be "single" again? lol

I told myself, I am picky that's why I don't have a bf...aha ha

Well, I should be..I'm a woman with so much knowledge (yeah yeah)

When I went to eat in the Italian restaurant, I asked what the wifi code is..the waiter directed me to scan it by the wall then he goes...that's my phone number...

I'm like..ugh😑...hahaha...I don't really like when guys flirts..well guy I don't like 😏..so far there's no one I like...the guy was handsome but......heh

Okey...see..that's me...one minute grieving then the next making fun of myself. We really can't take life seriously. After Dongie died, I am more aware that my time would be up soon.

also talking about dreams...

I dreamt that Jesus was a little girl? and I did asked him, why are you a little girl in my dream? I wrote down my dream so I'll remember more...slowly it's fading away now. I wonder what that meant..but I have a feeling , my grandchild..first grandchild will be a girl..