Just thinking again way
I wonder what the old lady thinks about all day.
Well she wakes up at 9:30 and I help her. then put her in her wheelchair, then we go to the dining/living room and I open the tv so she can watch the news as I prepare her breakfast. She has no choice but to sit there and watch. She can't move, she doesn't even talk until I would coaxed her to say something.
Then she finished her lunch also and I take her back to her room so she can take a nap until 4 or 4:30 pm. I wake her up then she watched news in bed as I give her snack and mid meds. Sometimes I watch youtube with her and show her different programs. She liked watching with me. then dinner, I give her a bit of food and she goes to sleep around 6:30 or 7pm.
I guess she doesn't have much time to think of anything..just watch tv. She is being taken care of so she doesn't have to worry anything.
She's 88 years old and bedridden. I do not want to be like that. like I said, I'd rather leave when I know I will be a burden to people, plus..why would I want to wake up to a "groundhog's day?"
This is making me sad and cry for her. That's why I try to make her laugh at least give her some sunshine. I sang for her and sometimes I dance silly with the music and she would make that huge smile...I dont care if I look silly...she's smiling big and that's good enough for me.
Here I am miserable because of my stupidity (lol)..meanwhile, she can''t do anything, She just wake up, wash rinse and repeat.
I have a lot of things to do. I am capable of lots of things. I want to travel more. I have a grandchild on the way....I still didnt decipher that.
I'm too smart for myself..I know I am being given a chance to a new beginning..do not waste it. do not waste your time on someone not worth it. He's a coward. I'm sorry that is what I truly think...maybe that's why I cannot conjure any love poems.
I should thank the universe for this chance,,,I feel freer and a bit better.
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