Sensual way

When I was in college, I remember for the first time my "sensuality". It is not what you thought it was.

I remember we went to my twin's aunt's house and I don't remember why. But then I remember I was in my pajamas for some reason. Why I dont remember. Then when we were waiting for something, I was there standing and this "worldly kind of guy", he was still in his 20s I think..he was a guest in that house.

I was standing there with my youth and naivety but I felt something different. I felt his "stare". I immediately felt the "magnetism" between us.

It felt weird because I was in my pajamas and somehow I've attracted this guy.

I think it was always like that for me, well when I was younger.

I didn't have to make myself pretty or act a certain way..but guys would gravitate towards me.

Maybe I had this natural beauty then...but when I was younger I really paid no mind to it since I had grown with insecurity. My mother had never complimented me or remarked how I am beautiful. Nothing.

I had to learn to love myself without my mother's love. I had my father made fun of me once.. how I'm flirty.,,lol..just because of a dress he never saw me wore before. And that meant the world to me.

Now that I am older..I know how to control that..I would try to look better or feel

good about myself and people would double take or look at me for a second time.

I however, do not want to be noticed. I like being incognito. it meant that I can be however I want to be without thinking what people think of me.