Weird sh*t Angel thinks of way

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I saw the last episode of "Lost" and it always tears me up whenever I see it. Arghhh...

So, what if...

I could not bear Dongie's death and really I'm just in Paris because I said I wanted to be here when he dies. 

 What if, I'm really not here? this is just a projection of my imagination,,Something I need to do before I leave earth?

But honestly, I truly believe when some says that this earth..our life here on earth is just a play you need to “star”in because you wanted to know how that life you designed would be.

Like, being born as a twin then get separated from her and you both two different lives. Then being abandoned until you’re  4 years old then having the life you planned, like going abroad and having your family there.

You see in a blink of an eye..you're gone..

you choked on something and you don't recover..you were taking a shower and you slipped then died. 

I truly believe I will not get older than my 70's. I don't know maybe,,I also thought I would die before Dongie but I didn't.

The truth of the matter is,,

I'm weird..lol..I've always been,,

Maybe I'm an "old soul" as they say..

But please, show me more what I'm supposed to do.

Do we make our destiny,,,or really it is written,,,well.,,if it was, I need to see the "blueprint"...lol