Adiue way

So many questions..

Yet I know the answers..

I think it is better this way. There are things not really meant to be. Maybe I am this phase of self discovery. I should not pay attention to trivial things. It is not really "trivial" to love someone, who doesn't love you back.

There you go again...how do you know it is love? you don't even know the person, how they are..who they really are? It had always been like that. Being inlove with love, because given the chance..you would panic. Since you really are not ready. Your heart is grieving, you seek someone who is not available because you know you can't be with them anyway.

I had been thru these all my years. 

Unfortunately, I could easily move on...but I wanted to savor the masochism of it all.....ha ha

I had not been shown love when I was younger and I had to navigate it by myself when I was a child. I might not have a regular filial love but I had the kindness of strangers. Then my mom adopted me, it got awkward. I felt more as an outsider than when I was alone. But I do believe this is what I have to accomplish here..to know more of these incidents in my life.