alone-ness way

 It actually started nov 1 but I obliged to go with my roommate. First she took me to her niece's birthday party, I knew she wanted photos..it was ok..I am trying to learn how to hang out with people again..hahaha...such a Loner I am...lol...then yesterday to the bible study. I was bored the first ten minutes,,,,lol..the speaker was sooooo boring, I wanted to leave that instant ...and she's like..nooooo...just stay a little while. I didn't know I'm her "participant"...I think it meant she took me to the Lord..hmmm..but at the end...I adjusted again.

I told her it is so weird to me to see so many filipinos in one place..lol...that's how I am so much out of touch . I saw so many people who looked asian, with black hair ...and honestly, they all look the same to me. I told her I got used to the diversity in the US...even the Latinos in the parties doesn't look the same when I did my temp jobs. I do feel out of place because I look different than them...they always think Im Latina or Spanish. Why can't I get used to "compliments". People be like, "you're pretty"and im like...uh thank you? lol

I don't know, I don't feel old inside but I think I am looking old already..ha ha

I think god wants me to rest these coming weeks because my foot hurts when I go to sleep, then sleeping the wrong way makes my muscles ache..ughh

So, I better enjoy this Alone-ness...I will, God is great and I have nothing to complain,..December is coming and I'll finally get a fulltime job.

I am trying to decide if I really want to go to Barcelona..it's kinda cold now...I'll see..

Again with Spock...

I think God is trying to tell me, find the one that will go to church with you again..or someone who understands my "spirituality"...he mocks me when I told him about my theory...so that is a "huge Red Flag" already...I have to wean myself off of him..no blocking..im mature now...hahaha 😊😋