packing way

This thought kept ringing in my head..

Have you ever Up and just leave? I thought I had done that twice now in my life. First when I left the PHilippines in 1989  and the other one when I left Florida last June 2024.

It is a terrible feeling...

Leaving all your stuffs behind, the memories, your family, your beloved pet.

I had to I tell myself...I need to start a new, I wanted to know

 how it is to live here in Europe. In a million years I never knew I'd end up here in France when I left the Philippines. I had a good run of 35 years in the US, I wonder how long am I staying here.

I sometimes am surprised that I could be this "independent"..maybe because I was abandoned at birth and I had learned to compartamentalize my thoughts. I think most "traumatic people" experience this.

Ahhh... I hear it..the siren of the French police...so differnt from New York city when I was living there. I didnt hear much in Miami...maybe the rooster cockadooing...lol ..Cubans have a rooster in their backyards there. I bet if I lived outside of Paris I might here that.

Maybe someday I could write that book I've been meaning to write. Where if its about my life or my travel photos.

Last night, I had accepted that Spock was really just a friend. I do not want to deal with that kind of situation. If i'm younger maybe..but he's older also..just childish...like me...hahahah...but I do not know how he feels truly...only that he doesn't love me...but that's true though..we're just friends. Fine my only french friend for now(not anymore)..lol...Maybe it's good that he doesn't love me romantically..I dont think I'm really ready anyway. Almost last April but that guy turned out to be a nightmare so I ran away..lol plus I knew I was going to leave anyway.

I've posted a lot in Facebook today..it's ok..Ive followers who are interested in my life. Or whatever I am doing here in gay Paris...lol

Going to the trip tonight in CArcassone and Narbonee..strangely it's warmer there than here in Paris. They are in the South of FRance. It's full of medieval things, old castles, old churches... I just want to get out of Paris even for a weekend. Will take lots of photos..