Handmaid way

Yesterday...

was the Handmaid christmas party. I guess im one of them now bec we had a graduation the other week. It's ok ..I was actually " in awe".. I haven't seen so many filipinas in one room . For years in the US I had attended some flipino parties 20 years ago when I was socializing with them. Then I've stopped. So, I was looking around the room and they were having so much fun. There were programs ,games ,singing etc etc. 

It brought me back to my childhood in Banawe. When we would have christmas parties

with the hospital staffs and our big Santos clan. That was really something. I looked forward to those parties... yesterday reminded me of my "roots" also. There's a problem with my thoughts, I knew I am filipino in this lifetime and must be some other lifetime I wasn't. 

I am very aware of this lifetime I've chosen. 

I wanted to be abandoned and poor in the beginning. I wanted to experience the struggles. When I was a kid, I wasn't really aware that it was hard to be "poor" . I was having the time of my life running around free, but then my mom adopted me so I have to go that route to be where I am now. 

Maybe I was european before. I've been asian now. I wish I could see some of my past lives.

It's good to be filipino though..I saw how "underdogs" can flourish somehow. Plus, I've learned to have great faith in God because we're the only Catholic country in Asia opposed to the majority of Buddhist countries around us. I want to know about buddhism though some day. the Zen thing..