Metro way

As I was sitting there tonight on the way back from Nation.

I suddenly thought of my subway travels in New York when I was single. I remember I was super sad also because I left my one and only bf in the Philippines , so I could achieve my dreams. I felt that I knew that's what precisely will happen. Beng and his mom was the one who would help me to get here..my dad also because he gave me my passport. 

I used to cry in the NY subway because I was so homesick . Then I remember ed Mike was so immature, I could not fathom how we ended up together. some 40 years later he would say, I was his first love and he cried so hard when we got divorced. I didn't believe him because he was really mean, narcissist person. We did get along in the beginning, but then he somehow lost his way.

I guess we were too young to understand things.

NOw, it's happening again...I need to let go of someone. I do not know if I can handle another sad ending. Maybe it's better to quit while were ahead.

It's the holiday season...I do not know if it means anything to him...or I'm just a side something..which I am not going to tolerate that. So many mixed signals...well...It shouldn't be...because he was clear from the beginning...Im just stubborn and retarded..ha ha ...😜 I truly need to stop this...The new year is coming and I am not going to tolerate this.

Anyway, life is short..

I have my interview for my job tommorrow..hopefully I'll start right away. I wonder what this new chapter is about again. Plus, I really do not want to live with ate Jo anymore..I do not want to be in this small room anymore. I liked Myra's place...it was big and they have lots of rooms...that's what Warren would get me if he was alive. He would find a way for us to get a better living condition...ughhh,,,,Im about to cry now...arghhh....I truly miss his intelligence and the way he handle things as a man.

I wonder if I would find someone like him again. 

I remember the first time he asked me out..He wrote in a PC calling card.."have dinner with me."

nungka..si spock..so I need to move on.