Now Blogs

I've decided to ditch my "way" titles and just make it "now"..

I am writing in the present tense, so it is really "now".

January 25,2025..I decided to leave Paris.

There were more disadvantages than advantages in staying. I realized, I do need my family around me. Plus all I did was "cry" from being sad and lost. I did some soul searching also. France or maybe Europe is not for me. At least I can say, I've been there done, that...

We all have our journeys in life and I am grateful for the good and the bad experiences I had over there.

I would have loved to have someone special there, someone I could have travelled with, hang out with and just get along easily...but I guess It wasn't meant for me to be there with someone special. Or it's not time yet for me to meet that special someone that would "tolerate" me..hahaha..

If I was meant to be with someone there, 7 months was a good enough time. But, I myself was not ready. I think it is hard for me to "trust" anybody nowadays. I don't know...maybe when that someone find me...hopefuly I'm ready already.

It had been 16 days I've been back. I love being with my son..I like taking care of someone...too bad that special someone would have known he would have gotten a real good woman who would take care of him...lol

Nah, I'm just kidding...

Maybe I am making up for the times we haven't seen each other. The short time I saw my son was when their dad died. We didn't really had talked much about it. So many ifs I am finding out now what he thinks his dad should have done in order to stay alive longer.

I told him...there is no such thing as an accident like his death by heart attack..it is meant to be. His dad's health was failing so fast. I still have some whatifs also..but i do believe, it is his time to go..it is time. Like when I would die...I know somehow, I might be afraid in the beginning but I would embrace it..i would accept it's my time, then so be it.