When is goodbye?
I watch a show with people saying goodbye to their dead loved ones..and I go into pieces...
I miss Dongie...it had only been 2 years..how time flies. 29 years ago he was just there all the time. Never missed a day talking to him, hanging with him, making me laugh..taking him to his doctor appointments, dropping and picking him up from the hospital... It seemed like a "lifetime " ago.
So this dimension, we have chronological time..but in the others...Time is in no effect...that's what I heard. Einstein said, time is happening all at once...its so fast we don't realized it.
Anyway...
I know I'm still grieving..I know I am still missing him..I know he's just here with me, I can feel it.
I wonder if we were twinsouls, not really a soulmate ? but someone I had a contract in the other side to share this life with me. BUt I think, I learned a lesson for this lifetime..
That "Love is not a feeling"...
Love is a commitment, love is unconditional...loving someone with all his imperfections...
When I was younger, I kept looking for love because I didn't get filial love growing up.. then my Dad came along and he showed me a father's love . I would always be grateful for him..he's my hero..
Then as I get into adulthood...I thought Love is that feeling you get when you have butterflies in your tummy.. but that kind of love I realized, doesn't last.
True love I now know...is accepting someone for who they are..
although..I am still hang up with the thought of "loyalty"..maybe I am still selfish in that way...it's my way of thinking that I grew up in, Love should be "monogamous"....
Dongie had always been sincere to me..he kept saying, He will never marry again,,I'm it for him...even if I told him to find someone else.
I had loved him so because he didn't find someone else.
If he did find someone else..I would have been happy for him.
So now, I believe I need to Heal still..
Life is short I know..but I cannot move forward if I don't heal.
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