Walk with me this way..

 I was thinking back in Paris.. yes, it’s nice to take photos.. in my head.. just to show and share in social media that i was in Paris.. immersed in its culture….. But, at the same time, i was struggling inside.. what does this place do for me? I can’t drive ( 7 months) so I can’t roam around and really enjoy the places.. I don’t want to wait for years to be able to have a car and drive there.  I couldn’t get the job I wanted to do.. babysitting for a toddler.. it’s not who I am..  I wasn’t happy there because I was scared to find someone really special because I had the feeling I would leave any second because I wasn’t happy there. I had missed the US more because it’s my Home.. my family is there and I didn’t have family in France. I believe if Paris was for me.. I would have stayed there longer..

I was watching this show set in Venice...but for some reason, I had a flashback of my experience in Bastille, France. it's still in Paris. I remember that there was a demonstration on the streets of Bastille,french people opposing something about Macron is doing.  I I didn't really understand what it was. I did take some photos too, but the one thing I would not forget was how I was pushing thru the crowds. I came from Monoprix to get some groceries for the old lady (damn I miss her) and the people were all crowded by the side street. I was trying to go thru and I kept saying "scuse me" or"pardon" in French interchangebly. It was so uncomfortable, I was thinking to myself..these are one of the things I try to avoid in the US and here I am in the thick of it. I remember hearing someone said also, "welcome to France!"..and I have not the slightest idea why that woman said that. Ah Paris, I might be sick of you for the moment....but I will never forge...

I love this show.. It's about musicians and a Maestro who moved to NY and is working in the NY Symphony. I wonder why I am not into as many instruments. I mostly loved my piano, I played a bit of guitar but not any of those instruments like the OBOe or flute. I remember Michael wanting to learn the Sax. He actually bought one but he never really played it. I heard Dongie played a bit of piano but nothing much. The pianist was Bengsky. He could play piano like a professional , I think. He once told me he was studying this Chopin piece. I was impressed, they had a paint also. Then Rich was a musician I think, he does play the piano well. He had his own style, but he admired my style of playing the piano.  Somehow these kindred spirits have a common with me that's why it was good while it lasted, well only in the beginning I guess. I love or admire people who does play an instrument. I wish I would know someone again who would inspire me to play my piano more. Although I needed a ...

 I am going to try to be consistent here starting Now.. no pun intended..😆☺️ I feel I am stronger.. I know if what I want is not happening.. there is something much much better in the horizon. I must be a buddhist in another life.,  I saw this movie 7 years in Tibet . The Dai Lama told him his purpose is done with him so go back and be with your son. I truly understood what he meant. I suddenly saw all these people have come and gone in my life. They were there when time was right and when it’s time to leave , mine or theirs.. it was inevitable. Then I remembered Spock.. again? lol he was my greatest lesson for the meantime. We had the same experience with LDR.. it will never work , we both said.. somehow i’ve forgotten this.. well then, our story truly ended.. Penpals became text mates but there is still nothing in between.  My purpose in his life and same as me in his .. had ended..  The universe was just sending me all these messages again..Angel.. STOP!!! 🤣😂😝...