Walk with me this way..

 Well not in Florida.. i’m in Washington State..  something new, had visited my cousin here but never lived here.. maybe i will for 6 months.. i dunno who knows what the future brings.. i needed to dusattached.. and i did.. all is well.. i know i am unto a new adventure in my life.. let’s wait and see..

                                              Au revoir Paris Of this journey... I've finally decided that I've had enough. Now I can say, I've been there...done that! I was just drowning slowly here..as much as the rats here are freely going about their way..that more I need to get away..lol I do not wish to live like a "rat" anymore either. Funny in the US, it's a "dog eat dog world" ..here's it a living rat race. People I know lives in small rooms. They all have the same jobs, weird odd jobs that we didn't have over there just to live here. I can say, I did learn a lot of things here. And these things coinciding meant I need to leave already. I had overstayed and now it's time for a new adventure again. I know I'd look back at this someday.. Will I say, I should have looked around more? but not really..I know and feel Ive seen enough. 

I'm done with the "way" thingy..lol I answered in my Quora...Love is accepting someone unconditionally. I learned this with Dongie. I wanted to be there for him and not abandon him just because he was sick all the time. He was a good guy. Was a good dad to our kids. I love him unconditionally even if there were no romance. Love doesn't have to be romantic..it's more like a commitment. This person was with you thru thick and thin...so all you can do is be there for them. I don't know if I will fall inlove again. Maybe , I was just always inlove with "love" An honest great passion... It's awesome to make fun of each other, laugh a lot, a meeting of two "souls" I think. To be honest, I am scared of love...after the trauma with a "narcissist" I insist ..lol..not to fall anymore. If I did, I will get up...ha ha I have conflicting plans for the meantime..I do not think I need to fall inlove..I think Love will or can put me in my pla...

My son called me "drama queen" today in his texts to me.  I sent him my essay and now my poem. I told him, I'm a "poet"! hah!   Anyway, I had been busy putting down my thoughts.  JV gave me an idea yesterday for a "story"...I will not divulge it here..but it's PWIP..😝😊 I'm impress with his thoughts...maybe because he is surrounded by filipinas there in Coral Reef. I remember him, he likes playing games. Just because he's the boss..but sana if he was younger and more handsome...he's smart enough, he has a nice car, great job ...but unfortunately...I wasn't interested to be with someone like that. I didn't want to be with an older guy anymore. I don't have daddy issues anymore. BUt I know him...he is just being friendly..I remember I had a meltdown after a few months when Dongie died and he was there to listen and gave his support even emotionally. It is so strange lately..all these memories kept flooding back..all these peo...

 Here i go again.. I do this.. I overthink and it messes with my aura. I know I shouldn’t or have to stop thinking this way.. I tend to get negative. But deep inside I know , there is a good reason why things happen.  My life is a testimony of “ changes”.. A lot had been happening in my life lately. I do not wonder or shouldn’t be surprised because nothing in life is “ constant”. The only thing that doesn’t change is the word change. Actually there is a branch in the road ahead which affects also our life stories. Either you decide to go to the left or go to the right. Those 2 roads affects where you would be.  And unfortunately there are some characters in your story you had to let go since they come with each side. Seldom there are characters that stays in both sides. Whoever they are, they were meant to be in your next story.  Devastating to know some couldn’t continue their journey with you but always their story or purpose had ended in your story. That we could ...

I am getting annoyed when people reacts to my answer when they asked me..where are you from? I'd say from the US...and they go..."what are you doing here?" then I am the one who gets offended...ha ha ha...like they think I'm some kind of idiot preferring Paris than the US. I told Spock..why what is wrong with France?? lol Anyway..I thought i really like this baby sitting job from 5-8 ..this cute little one year old. Although I know that..if this is not the job i'm staying with..there is a better job for me out there. I also know, this is a stepping stone to my "destiny"...I am not meant to stay in that place..I am bound to go elsewhere.  BUt as usual..I leave it all in God's hands..

I just talked to M a moment ago, I asked her if she could help me read my ads in French. I could read it though sometimes when I use google translate. Maybe it's just an excuse so we can hang out together. She's been busy at work like I am. Then I told her about this ..and she said, what I am precisely thinking. BUt I need to be stronger today. I do not want to do much since I am not feeling as well and I need my energy for next week's jobs..lol It feels weird not to worry about anything, honestly. I had been like this ever since I was growing up abused. but that was long gone. Dongie had spoiled me in a sense that I ran the household and we really did get along at times despite him being an absent father in the beginning and I was a handling and juggling everything by myself. Maybe it was a challenge. Anyway I do not want to do that anymore when I do meet the "next" 😉😁 love of my life...whoever he is. I might spoil him a bit but I wanted  him to spoil me instea...

In tagalog.. Sabi mo pag dating ng alas nueve am. Wala pa din..ano maghihintay ka pa or wag ka ng sasagot pag nagreply..mas mabuti kaya ..tapusin mo na ang kahibangan..hahaha...I am laughing by myself..because this is a great teaching moment in my life.  I just answered in my Quora..Why we can't let go of people who are "not good" for us. I should follow my own advice. I was thinking.. Hindi naman talaga importante..ako lang ang nagpapalaki ng importansya sa walang kasysay na klaseng tao.  2025 na Angelita... you said you are going to Love yourself more . I do.. siguro recreation lang or pang distract lang ito sa buhay para naman..don't take life too seriously.  Have fun and Go find new friends!  Am glad I have a job.. NOw what's really bothering me is ...how can I do more of my photography..to be more creative, to start making money of it here in Paris. I had done a shoot last December and got paid $175 for an hour and a half because they were friends. thats a we...

I am done doing the everyday challenge posts. I will just post as I thought.  I am also still struggling with the issue of coming back home. It is tempting, Josh's offer in Seattle. It also means I can spend 3 months with my favorite cousin Pinky...and my friend MD if  Detroit is nearby? I guess not, just checked it and it's 72 hours by bus or train..lol Anyway, I kept dreaming I was back home. BUt at the same time, while I rode the bus to work to Jean Jaures..I admire the nice buildings we passed by. It kinda reminds me of Park Avenue in New York City but extensive..lol. I was also thinking, what a pleasure it is to see Paris in the winter..it does reminds me of NYC in the 90's when I was single. Although I was busy working ,I'd take a break now and then. I am glad Stevie took me back now and then when I get upset at work..lol I love seeing the trees all barren without leaves..it's like poetry. It is tripped off it's essentials yet it still stood tall..hoping t...

So I decided to stay with my "way"..maybe for the rest of the year until I find a replacement..lol So I was standing by the door of the bus yesterday. I was rearranging the hood of my jacket. And for some reason that I kept thinking that in my head, of that person rearranging my hood for me "lovingly". I wonder who he will be. So anyway, I was standing there and I forgot to hold unto the rail since I thought the bus driver will just open the door but he still moved and I fell and got swooped back like a rag doll to the floor. I was surprised..whoa..but then just as fast, a guy swept me up fast from the floor. It actually felt awesome. It's also a good thing that I was protected by my double clothes and jacket. I kept thanking the guy and he said ok, he even said I was or maybe looked a little shocked and asked if I was ok. I said Thank  you repeatedly and left. I was checking my body if it was aching..it was just ok...I needed to be strong because I'm going ...

I think it's time to retire "way"...lol I am not sure yet what to replace it with. BUt, here I go again...it's already 2025..I need to be more positive and change my thinking. I had been stuck in this ...whatever it is sickness.."love sickeness?" I knew I could not love anybody so I try to do this "martyr" kind of thinking..but it's the past now. I need to garner a new way of thinking. I think it's called "freedom" although admittedly, I got traumatized by Shiroi Tora. I do not want that kind of psychosis...hahaha  I am ready now...maybe...to find someone to "love" me...maybe...lol Adios to the old thinking...Biencenue to new you in Paris. 

Finally got a regular part time job ..😊😆   I am glad it's with a cute 1 year old baby...his name is A.. can't divulge here. He's so cute. Had an interview and they loved me, they didn't think I was filipina. They thought I was spanish because I dont have a filipino accent..lol...My american accent comes out if you are not american you will noticed..but if youre american you can catch some of my filipino accent..lol Anyway , God is awesome and he listened to my prayers. Thank you God and my guardian angels. I know Dongie is watching over me too and my Dad. Hopefully this job thing will go all the way.

I haven't written here since Jan 1.. I forgot because we had been travelling and it was really hectic. What a way to start the New Year..lol We were in Bordeaux from Spain for a stopover then we went home Jan 2. It's Jan 3 now..how time flies.  Maybe that's a good Omen, Im going to be busy this year. Time to get rid of the old and meet the new. I didn't want to contact the people who didn't really made a good connection in my life. People who made me cry or mad...the people who taught me lessons last year. I am ready to face a new challenge. Talking of challenge. Josh asked me last night if I did want to go home already. He's going to CAnada when his wife gives birth and he thought he could offer me his apt since he wont be there for 3 months. It was tempting,, but I think I am not through with Paris or France yet. it had only been 6 months now.  I told myself I'd give it a year.  I wonder why do these opportunities kept popping up. I was thnking of going ho...