Walk with me this way..

  It had been 5 days since I got here and to be honest I haven't posted in my Facebook my current status yet. maybe in a few days.. although , I dont want to share it yet.. lol Last night I was proud of myself.. I started my exercise/walking.. I walked from my place to the Eiffel Tower.. there was so much people.. note to self.. jog or walk early morings instead. It was good though since I saw tue Tower  twinkling... Anyway.. I need to lose weight so ill feel better..I know I can do it by end of July.. ill reach my goal.

Wandering my neighborhood .. the first day i went to get my fav croissants from my favorite boulanger.. then just went around doing some photowalk..will post more photos as days come.  

 Just waiting here.. Its nice to have Paris as your personal playground.. well mostly Europe… cant wait to explore more… this is just my second day of my migration.. 🤣😆 I dared myself… Come on Angel.. How long will you last here? hopefully “ forever”? and my friend said.. “ forever is a long time.”… lets just hope so I said…❤️🙏☺️😍🍀

Im finally here in Paris. I arrived this morning. I left Miami to NC to CDG. Damn.. the Uber was more this morning because of the traffic😆🤣.. oh well.. i have 2 big luggages and my carry on. I dont know why I packed so much..ugh..  So my friend wasnt home when I got to her place bec she went to work but left me a key.  After putting my stuffs down I head out and went to the chirch across from our building. It gave me some peace of mind and strength. I know I can do this with god and my spirit guides.. plus dongie is with me i can feel his presence. Trocadero is close because theyre preparing that area for Olympics..  anyway im exhausted.. I vow to chronicle my life here in France in this blog.

 So one more day and ill be in Paris .. hopefully for good.. I’ll miss my baby Abby 😔😭 She’ll be staying with Mae and Char. I’ve thrown and given away most of my stuff.. whats left was my 2 bins of my collectible dolls and some of my  camera equipmemts for Josh.. Time just slips by.. 

I have been back from Texas..visited my college bestfriend Liza..time does fly when you're having fun. 3 days was a good quick way to stay and keep in touch . I had fun just updating what had happened in our lives. NowI have 3 more days to go before I travel to Paris. I still have lots of things to throw but I'm sure when Mae and Char packs up ..they can throw them for me.  I am getting excited I guess been doing some manifesting, my fear had left..maybe Dongie's been helping me adjust to being single or a "widow".  In the meantime, I want to continue my photography still in Europe.  I am sorry I hadn't been here lately since I am busy with packing and throwing things.  I think I had healed also from my obsession. I realized, I commend him..ha ha..I do not like myself right now, sometimes..and I understand him now. If you don't love/like yourself ..nobody would. I am still grieving for my best friend/confidante so I have no love to give to others....

 I’m here standing in line in FLL airport.. Unbelievable.. I’ve never seen a TSA thats closed, they dont open till 4 am.. I fly out of MIA airport a lot and had never seen it closed (TSA).. maybe bec its a major airport and FLL is not as big. Im freaking sleepy😣😭.. had to be here at 3 am , Mae dropped me off at 3:20 am.. i’m second in line though which is good.. my flight is at 6 am and boarding is at 5:15 am. I’m excited to see my friend Liza.. it had been 20  years since we’ve last seen each other. to be continued 

Be cheeky.. life is short.. lol   I just saw in my Quora a question someone was asking..  What is the term for constantly thinking about someone who is no longer in your life? Are there any ways to cope with this? I didn’t answer there but I will answer here.. that term is “delusional”..  there must be a great reason why that person is not in your life.. why think about him/ her for? You must be delusional to still constantly think about them. The only way you can cope with this is just stop thinking about them. You would be just wasting your precious time to even bother. Life is short.. lots of people to know , be friends with, more fun, loving… Worthy or Deserving people who you should be thinking of.. lol So that’s my answer..maybe i’ll answer there later so i could help that person with their question.. lol

 Have you ever done that? Put away memories you didn't want to remember?  I think that’s called “ compartamentalizing”.. It just surprises me at times, what varied life I had led here in Florida.. well mostly in Miami.. I've met different characters also.. some intriguing individuals.. mostly because I was trying to understand people. But although I realized from working in that 7 days highschool graduation and seeing almost 8K people from Broward.. One person only recognized me.. and I recognized them.. I worked with her in HR in the poker room. So many people..  suddenly, the world seemed so big.. I do not want to be famous anyway.. My Facebook, social medias … its ok if I am not that well known.. although I want my work/photos be well known out there.. lol How can an artist not as be well known as its art? An utter mystery but I think it can be done.

  I've been seeing all these shows about Paris.. It's kinda making me excited now...although I've been there 4 times..I just want to know what else I can do there..I've already have ideas what and where I am going to shoot. I love that part.. I need to learn how to speak French too..I have google translate..lol that can help. Meanwhile, I am getting  rid. throwing away stuffs now...it's actually overwhelming..but I know by next week ..I would have sorted this out. Next week I'm going to visit my college best friend in Texas...haven't seen her since the early 2000's when she visited me with her family in my house in Ohio.  I'm excited for that too.. My  photo of the Eiffel Tower back in 2022

  "If you want to know where your heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders." This quote struck me as I read it.. I had been obsessing about him..It had always been like that.."you want what you can't have..sometimes..specially if it's wrong for you..." I'm happy now at least I realized that it would never work even if we got together. He doesn't believe in my "God"..he lacked spirituality... To be with someone like me..He would understand where I am coming from. Maybe he didn't have the experience to get exposed to that kind of spirituality...or he's just an atheist...I wouldn't know..all I know was..he mocked my God..and that killed my admiration to him right away. All my life, I've never depended on man..but mostly my spirit guides, my guardian angels, my God..who I know is always there for me..how else would I have survived from being an abandoned baby to woman who is to embarked on this new adventure in anothe...

 I think i’m simple.. I just want to be happy .. even if im alone.. I know how to make the best of everything. I believe in manifestation and I believe whenever I ask for something.. I do get it and  if sometimes I dont , then I know there’s  a  perfectly good reason.. I am to embark another milestone in my life.. I am excited now bec its almost here… I want to opem my eyes to new experiences.. meet lots of new people on this NEW Chapters of my life. I am not afraid now, I know God is with me and Dongie is watching over me. my angels/ spirit guides cheering me on. We got this..

  Horatio is someone I do not care for..he does not fit my ideals. I would try and I would think maybe I could settle..he loves me so. but I am far too removed from this plane of existence that I could not tolerate to pretend anymore. I had done that a long time ago..try to fit a round peg in a square one. I feel bad but it is what it is..nothing good can come from this. And I was his Horatio.. Deep inside I know we do not belong.. to be continued...have to wake up early tomorrow..ugh

 I was looking thru my old journals..but I saw some prints of my old blogs back in the day..maybe around 2009.. I used to join writer's challenges with my friends and we would have words we have to incorporate with the essays..I realized I was trying to be a writer before than a photographer ..I started my photography anyway in 2010..I guess the writing took a back seat. Anyway I want to put some of them down here in my blogs just so I have a copy here...I am about to throw a lot of my stuffs soon also 😢😔 Here's a challenge with the word "Desire"  As I sat by the beach, I have this scenario playing in my head. I need to get a resolution. A conversation replayed in my head. " It's all your fault" she gently chided with tears in her eyes. She told him intently at the same time. "If you love me and desire me, I wouldn't have to go elsewhere." and he replied just as fast. "I do love you, you don't have to go anywhere else, I am here ...

I have a secret wish.. I wish for someone who would love me as I am.. my flaws, my silliness, my sweetness.. Somebody who would understand that I don't like to fight back or declare my angst..because to me, he would know if I love him I would try to understand him. He doesn't need to be perfect nor rich..just someone who's intelligent. My momma taught me that he doesn't have to be handsome, just "good looking"..I've retained that all my life, her comments about my dad. I wish that someone would hold my hand and join me in my adventures. Taking photos with me, traveling the world.. Maybe someday I'll meet him when I'm not looking. Fate, destiny, the Universe...it's your call now.. 

I'm so happy today since we have our first zoom call .We haven't been all together since last Feb when their dad died. This year I'm glad my eldest organized that we would all be together even just in the computer. Life had been hectic...my eldest in LA, my middle in Texas and my youngest with me. Soon we would have a harder time to convene together since I'll be in Europe. Hopefully we do this every year. Anyway...so time is a ticking and I still haven't thrown stuffs out...argggggggghh..lol Moving is so taxing..ugh I did however took some self portraits..ha ha..just because..I wonder who would be my clients in Paris..I need to network.. I am more prepared to shoot landscapes than portraits..Well if someone hires me to take their photos  then I would..

I'm finally giving myself the go to stop worrying.. about something that is not worth worrying about.. 😆😜lol  I can finally smile and I felt like a weight had been lifted.. Life is truly a precious thing.. after the hurdles I've been thru.. this next adventure would be

  Our mind really play tricks on us.. I had conjure that illusion in my head not wanting to accept that I had been repelled in the beginning. I wanted to see the good beginning but not the disaster ending. My Instinct had been right all along.. and I’m glad I listened to my spirit guides. I might had truly dodged a bullet. What is a man if he had everything but devoid of empathy or  believes he is better than everyone else? I do not care for such a man.. give me a poor but kind hearted one and respectful of your feelings or is genuinely a “ good soul”. That’s what my momma taught me.. because my dad was such a man.. but in the end he died successful.. regardless if he had accumulated accolades or riches later in life.Which he did, lots actually.  And still..He kept his heart.. and that’s all that matter to me..someone like my honorable dad who was my hero.